Home Not Sports

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Well…okay then.

Embattled Toronto Mayor Rob Ford has had an interesting past few weeks.  After holding a press conference last week admitting to smoking crack in the past, Ford has been facing allegations of prostitution and making sexual advances to female staffers.

If you’re short on time, fast forward to the 1:25 mark.

“Oh and the last thing was Olivia Gondek, it says that I wanted to eat her pussy. Olivia Gondek. I’ve never said that in my life to her. I would never do that. I’m happily married. I’ve got more than enough to eat at home. Thank you very much,”

Does he smoke crack before or after eating pussy? Legit question.

Where is the sports connection you ask?

First, Rob Ford publicly admitted to smoking crack while wearing an old-school NFL tie on November 5th.  Second, you probably noticed the customized “Mayor Ford” Toronto Argonauts jersey he was wearing in the video but when he refers to “spanking their little Tiger-Cats” he is talking about the upcoming Canadian Football League Playoff game between the Argonauts and the Hamilton Tiger-Cats.  Then, he talked about pussy eating.

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No one was hurt, it’s okay to laugh.

From KATU

Officials from Tacoma Public Schools are investigating a school bus driver after she was involved in a violent chain-reaction crash with a truck and another school bus.

Washington State Patrol troopers say the bus driver hit a pickup truck and another bus before coming to stop.

Troopers ticketed the female bus driver for negligent driving, and now officials from Tacoma Public Schools are investigating whether she was wearing her seat belt properly.

The video clearly shows the driver unbuckling her seat belt, but only the lap belt. The shoulder strap was tucked behind her back the whole time.

Troopers say it’s against the law to wear a seat belt in a way it wasn’t designed to be worn.

A Tacoma Public Schools spokesperson said it’s policy that all bus drivers obey state seat belt laws. A spokesperson for Durham School Services, which contracts with Tacoma schools, said that’s their policy as well.

It’s unclear if the driver has been suspended.

Having trouble figuring out which is funnier.  The violent chain-reaction that goes on with this lady’s body or the hat popping off that elderly bus driver’s head.

Video of the Year candidate.

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Before we get started, if you missed the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards here is the video of Miley Cyrus’ performance that everyone is talking about.

If you read the internet today, talked to parents, or was just around someone with a pulse they most likely had an opinion of Miley Cyrus.

“Too Obscene.”
“Disgusting.”
“I refuse to let my children watch.”
“Things were not like that when we were younger.”

First off, those same adults who were telling you that Cyrus’ behavior was “too much” were probably getting double-teamed in a bathroom stall in college but lets move on.

Miley Cyrus was doing what every teen star before her has done in their 20s, rid themselves of their teen image in the most extreme and public way possible.  A performance like this was predictable and anyway who didn’t see this coming is an idiot.  Whether it was Tiffany appearing in Playboy, Britney Spears shaving her head, or Amanda Bynes going bat-shit crazy – you can officially welcome Miley to her twenties!

The performance was completely comical be she was trying so hard to be provocative and sexy except she ended up looking like a fucking idiot.

First off, lets start with that haircut.  It’s the worst.  Her hotness factor is dropping every day and it’s becoming the most disappointing maturation of a teen star since the Olsen Twins.

Second, what is with that excessive tongue wagging?  Bit your lip.  Slip your tongue. You know what is not sexy?  Showing your tonsils.  It’s kind of what I envision a crack addict (or Lamar Odom) would look like trying to score their next hit for free.

Miley Cyrus 2013 MTV VMA

Third, fire your stylist.  Your outfit was cute but someone needed to size you better for those panties.  Letting your ass cheeks flap uncontrollably is not a good look.  Get that ass on lock down.

Fourth, fire Robin Thicke’s stylist because he just climbed to the top of the douche-meter.

Fifth, Britney did it better.

Let me explain the difference.  After watching Britney Spears perform at the 2000 MTV VMAs, every guy in the world wanted to fuck her. After your performance at the 2013 MTV VMAs, every guy in the world knows they can fuck you.

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Tom Menino - Marathon Bomber Capture

It didn’t take long for Boston Mayor Tom Menino to get back to his winning ways trying to steal the spotlight at the press conference that announced the capture of the remaining suspect from the Boston Marathon bombings, Dzhokhar Tsarnaev.

Menino, who is recovering from a broken leg, looked like this when he spoke at the podium as he is currently in a wheelchair.  He is constantly a media punching bag for his terrible slips of the tongue when talking about sports figures, but tonight HE WINS!

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Tamerian Tsarnaev BU Boxing Profile

Tamerian Tsarnaev BU Magazine

As the chaos continues with the hunt for Suspect #2, Dzhokhar A. Tsarnaev, from the Boston Marathon bombings, information is started to be uncovered about the brothers.

Suspect #1, Tamerian Tsarnaev, who was killed Thursday night during their standoff with police in Watertown, MA was training to enter the Golden Gloves competition as a way to earn United States Citizenship.

This two-page spread was featured in a 2010 edition of the comment, the Graduate Student Magazine of Boston University’s College of Communication, and talked about Tamerian’s effort to become a naturalized American.

Here are a couple of facts about Tamerian from the article:

  • Tsarnaev, who studies at Bunker Hill Community College in Boston and wants to become an engineer, took the semester off from school to train for the competition.
  • Family fled Chechnya in the early 1990s because of the conflict there.  He lived in Kazakhstan before coming to the US as a refugee.
  • In the absence of an independent Chechnya, Tsarnaev says he would rather compete for the US than for Russia.
  • He liked the movie Borat, even though some of the jokes are a bit much.
  • He doesn’t drink of smoke. “God said no alcohol.”

Maybe the most telling fact.

  • Though he’s lived in the U.S for five years, Tsarnaev says, “I don’t have a single American friend.  I don’t understand them.”

How does someone who was trying hard to represent the United States in the Olympics turn on our country?  Tsarnaev lost to Lamar Fenner of Chicago by decision in the 201+ weight class in the 2009 National Championship and never made it back.  Fenner passed away in 2012 because of a heart attack

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Marathon Manhunt spectators

I ain’t ready to put my big boy pants on!

One of the residents of a Boston suburb, chills outside the perimeter rocking an argyle bathrobe and flannel pants as the police continue their search for Suspect #2, Dzhokhar A. Tsarnaev, from the Boston Marathon bombings.

You can get a full and constantly updating account of the manhunt for the suspects here.

By the way, this images was from 10:21am.  Not acceptable to still be wearing your pajamas unless you are a college chick nursing a boxed-wine hangover.

[NECN]

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Suspect #1:

Boston Marathon Suspect #1

Suspect #1 - Marathon Bombings

Suspect #2:
FBI confirmed that this person was seen dropping a backpack in front of explosion site one, closest to the finish line.  He also wears his hat like a raging douchebag.

Boston Marathon Suspect #2Suspect #2 - Marathon Bombings

Just after 5pm on Thursday, the FBI released these images in an effort to try and locate the suspects of the Boston Marathon Bombings that took place on Monday that killed 3 and injured over 170 people.

We talked about our connection to the marathon and Boston, we are located just 30 minutes south of the city, in our most recent episode of Ride The Pine.

Anyone with information on the bombings is being urged to call Boston authorities at 1-800-494-TIPS.

Here is FBI official video:

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One of the first websites I ever developed was WrestlingGeeks.com and it focused on the world of professional wrestling.  The site has been dead for five years because I was so angry at the WWE.  Why?  Because they stole an idea that I pitched during an interview for a Creative Writer position, but didn’t hire me for the job.

Here is an excerpt from my story.  The full article can be read at the re-designed, WrestlingGeeks.com

I reached out to several of my contacts from the WWE who helped me land a job interview to become a member of the Creative Writing team.  Before I came in for the interview, I went through several weeks of conversations with a WWE recruiter about the position and the grueling demands of the job.

Most writers are initially brought on for a 3-month temporary basis.  The reasoning is simple.  Are you talented or not?   Can you handle the travel or not?

On a normal week, a writer travels on Sunday night to the city where Monday Night RAW is being held.  At the end of RAW on Monday night/early Tuesday morning the writing teams travels to another city for the Smackdown taping.  On Tuesday night/Wednesday morning everyone would travel back to Stamford and put in a full day of work.  Thursday is an office day in Stamford.

Friday and Saturday are off days, except for PPV weeks when the travel schedule would start on Saturday.

In addition, writers were expected to be “on call” at any point to re-write storylines in case of injury, Wellness failures or arrest.

The schedule sounded grueling, and truthfully, I wondered if I would last.  However, getting the chance to join the creative writing team would fulfill all of my professional dreams and aspirations and there was no way I wasn’t taking a shot.  Early discussions about a salary were between the $50,000-$60,000 range.

My first interview in the Stamford, CT headquarters was pretty intimating… 

It was the first time I ever set foot in the WWE building.WWE Stamford Workout Facility

I remember almost getting giddy seeing the “old-school” workout facility [right] – the cheesy one with the neon WWF lights that were featured in a number of commercials and promotional videos in the late 80’s and early 90’s.

As I walked through the halls, I remember the recruiter giving me advice – you never know who you’ll see walking the halls, but when you see them, don’t go crazy like a fan.

I was brought to a smaller boardroom that had some memorabilia in it, but was clearly used for low-priority business dealings.  I sat down with the recruiter and someone from the human resources department. She was a woman with the last name McMahon but they told me she had no relation to the owners.  Odd…

Nothing too exciting came from the interview, but I was called back to meet with the writing team the following week.

When I went back for my second and final interview on Thursday, May 29th 2008, I met with Brian Gewirtz, the head writer for RAW and Ed Koskey, the temporary head of the Smackdown team.  Koskey was filling-in while Michael Hayes was serving a 60-day suspension for dropping the N-bomb to Mark Henry during some Wrestlemania 24 festivities.

This time I was taken to an even smaller room with Gewirtz, Koskey, the recruiter and myself.

Let me make something perfectly clear, I’m pretty shitty at interviews.  I tend to have difficulty articulating my skills but at the age of 25 I had a pretty decent resume of accomplishments in the media business.

One thing that always stuck in my head….

They asked me about my favorite wrestlers, but it wasn’t in the “who would you like to work with” way, but rather in the “hey little buddy, who is your absolute favorite wrestler ever” way.

I remembered the advice from the recruiter during my first interview – don’t sound like a crazy fan – this is a business.  Plus, I figured that a new writer would work with some of the younger talent anyway, so I coolly rattled off some of the “up-and-comers,” and of course Triple H – like a good future corporate kiss-up.

During the whole interview I was waiting for the opportunity to “show-off” my wrestling mind and I finally got my chance when they asked me what I liked and disliked about the current product.

My best idea…

If you remember back to April/May 2008, Chris Jericho and Shawn Michaels had one of the best feuds in the WWE.  Michaels was coming off of his emotional victory over Ric Flair at Wrestlemania and Jericho was needling HBK over sending the Nature Boy into retirement.

What you probably don’t remember – – during that time Chris Jericho was the reigningIntercontinental Champion.  You probably don’t remember because Jericho rarely defended the title and most times wouldn’t even carry the belt with him into the ring or to interviews.  Simply, the belt was being underutilized.

Here was my pitch to the Creative team…

 For the whole story check out WrestlingGeeks.com

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The worldwide headquarters of Ride The Pine are located in Rhode Island and Winter Storm Nemo is wrapping up its 2 foot snow dumping on us.

I used my snow blower to start clearing out the driveway and just couldn’t believe the amount of snow, by far the most I’ve ever seen.  I put together this video.  I know, my voice sounds really dumb and I had nothing to say.

Here are some pictures.  The snowfall was about 22 inches.

Nemo Snowfalls in Rhode Island

This my snow blower when I started.

Nemo Snow in Rhode Island

This is what I did in the snow when I finished. Suck it Nemo.

Nemo Snow Cooler

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As the Northeast anticipates one of the biggest snowfalls of all time from Winter Storm Nemo, Massachusetts governor Deval Patrick urged people to get off the streets at a press conference on Thursday.  Have you ever seen a more ridiculous scene at a press conference?  When was the last time you actually saw someone fanning themselves in public?

You can’t help but be completely mesmerized by that large lady in the back fanning herself.  I would love to know what caused her to breakout in a sweat?  Nevermind, I don’t want to know.

But the more I watched the video, I found the real star of the press conference – sign language lady.  You may remember the press conferences that NYC Mayor Michael Bloomberg held before Hurricane Sandy, which were best remembered forhis interrupter and her animated sign language style.

Patrick’s sign language lady was great and specifically gave advice to the ladies on what NOT to do if they get stranded with two guys.

Deval Patrick Sign Language Blizzard

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Look, I’m willing to pay for writers.  I’ll pay per post or a monthly fee.  I need a decent amount of posts per week (like 5-10) but more importantly you need to be timely.  Oh, and you need to be funny but more importantly make me laugh.  This is a great opportunity to get paid blogging about sports and pop culture.

Send me writing samples and (preferably) a link to a current blog that shows off you work.

Send email to what@ridethepine.com

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